F as in Falcon
by Kitten has claws
Summary: About friendship, love, trouble and letters. About the troubles of being out of the Abbey… RayBryan, TalaKai. YAOI! Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

So... Here's a story about Ray/Bryan, Tala/Kai. Yaoi. M/M. Gay. Don't like don't read. Easy, huh? Lots of side parings... Oh, and season two and three never happened... Even though Hillary and Dachi are mentioned. There are some OOC when it comes to the Demolitions…

Warning: Yaoi, M/M, Lemon/Lime, mentioning of rape and abuse.

A HUGE thanks to Virpi, my Beta. Not only for beta reading, but also for kicking my butt into getting some work done! hugs

Discalimer: I. Do. Not. Own. BeyBlade!

R&R

Chap1

Bryan's POV.

The match was over... I had seen them take the neko-jin away on a stretcher. He had fought so bravely. I just wanted to die right now. How could have I done that? What had they turned me into? When Driger hit me every emotion had returned, I had been saved.

I was taken to the whipping room straight away when we returned to the Abbey. I hadn't said one word during the way back.

The punishment was bad, REALLY bad, but nothing hurt more than the image of the hurt raven haired teen. They dumped me on my bed and left. My team barely glanced at me. What had I done to them! We had used to be like one, every one knew the deepest despair, longing and happiness of the others. Then I had changed. Boris had changed me...

I just laid there staring at the ceiling. The image of the Neko returned, painfully clear and I started to cry. I let out a small sob that made the others jump. Tala came over to my bed and looked down at me, a puzzled look on his face.

"Bryan?"

"I'm... I'm... I'm so sorry Tala! Forgive me? Please?"

Tala flung himself at me, pulling me up in a hard hug.

"You're back Bryan! Thank god! We thought we had lost you forever!"

Tala was crying now, as were Spence and Ian.

"Sorry...I'm so, so, so, so sorry! Please?" I sobbed into Tala's chest.

Tala pulled back a bit and looked me in the eyes.

"It wasn't you, so therefore you have nothing to be sorry about."

"Forgive me please?"

"If it makes you feel better you're forgiven."

"That goes for us, too." Ian said. He was sitting on Spencer's knee, fiddling with the blonds hair. They had always been together, none of them really knew when friendship had turned into love.

The four of us just smiled at each other, tears still streaming.

"Who..who was he? The one I..I..hurt?"

"His name is Ray Kon, he's in Kai's team."

"I almost killed him...and he saved me. What pain we have caused to that team! First Kai, then their bit beasts... and now this... Will they ever forgive us? Will he ever forgive me?"

"We can try... You can try."

"How Spence? How can I get him to forgive me?"

"Write him. I think he's the kind of guy who would appreciate an apology. It's a start anyway."

"You're right... I'll do that..."

"But first we have to clean you up." Tala said. He helped me into the bathroom and to the bathtub. An hour later my injuries had been cleaned and patched up and I was sitting on the bed, trying to figure out what to write.

"Need help?"

"Yes please Tal."

He sat down beside me with a small sigh.

"Tala?"

"Hmm?"

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Hell yes! Just waking up without him near me is torture. But I'm happy for him. He's free. I want him near me, but I don't want him here..."

"Did you tell him about...?"

"No. Never got the chance..." Tears trickled down the Wolfs cheeks. Not the ones of happiness from earlier, but of pain and shame.

"He didn't leave you, you know, he left this."

"He didn't remember me..."

"He does now, doesn't he?"

"Yeah... Well, lets get back to your letter."

Ray's POV

I woke up to some one carefully opening the door. A small person entered the room and stepped into the light of the raising sun and I sat up and glared at him.

"Ian."

"Ray."

"What do you want?"

"Calm down. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to give you this."

He walked over to me with an envelope in his hand. I reached out and took it, there was nothing written on it.

"What is this?"

"A letter."

"I know that, but from who and why did you come here to deliver it?"

"I came because it was safer than using the post office. I was chosen because I'm not as intimidating as Tala and Spencer. We did not want to scare you."

"So therefore Bryan was completely out of the picture? I'm not afraid of him."

"I know, but we should be glad if he's able to stand on his own at tonights match."

"I hurt him that bad?"

"No, not you. Just read the letter and try not to think too bad of us."

"You're not doing this by your own free will, are you?"

"Ask Kai about that."

Ian turned and opened the door to leave, then he turned his head back at me.

"Thank you Ray."

"For what?"

"For giving us Bryan back."

There were tears in his eyes when he closed the door.

"What is going on here?" I turned my attention back to the letter and opened it. Inside there were four pages. I was amazed by the writing, the letters were small and neat and it had been written by a quill. I started to read and my mouth fell open.

_Ray___

_I know that I don't deserve it but by asking for it I have started the way to earn it; forgive me.___

_I don't want to excuse myself, but explain. As you probably know by now, the Abbey is far from what it seems to be. Their desire to succeed in their plans makes them do things that shouldn't be done. I was altered, changed. Locked away for months receiving "therapy". I don't exactly know what happened but my team tells me that I was a different person when I returned. Unable to feel anything but hate. That all changed when you won, you and your bit beast gave me myself back. You saved me. There is no way how I can thank you enough. Even though I'm doomed to live this life, I'm grateful for being given the ability to feel pain back.___

_Don't think too bad of us. I know that we are cowards, but we want to live. If there was an other way, we would do it, but we have to try to win. We have to win...___

_I know that I'm in no position to ask you favours, but I will ask all the same. Will you help Kai? He gave up a lot to come back to you, much more than just Black Dranzer. Tell him that we are happy that he's out, that we have nothing against him. None of us. We just want him to be happy.___

_You have earned my full respect and therefore I'm sure Kai trusts you.___

_I know I'm rambling a bit but I'm a little confused at the moment. I think that you would be, too, if you just regained every feeling, every emotion.___

_I will tell you a bit about my life, maybe that will help you to understand. I was brought to the abbey at the age of four. My father had OD and my mother walked the streets. She couldn't take care of me, I know that and I have forgiven her a long time ago. Ian and Tala were brought in at the same time, Kai and Spencer had arrived about a month earlier. Kai was just three, Ian four like me and Tala, and Spencer was five. Just toddlers, we didn't understand what was happening around us. We were the youngest here so we stuck together, protecting each other and we grew up to be one. When Kai was taken away from us it was like a part of us had been ripped away. But we stayed alive, fought on. Fought to stay alive...___

_Don't try to help us, it's not possible. You will only get hurt. But to me it's a relief that at least one person out there knows that we are not what we seem to be. That I'm not what everybody thinks I am.___

_As I said before, I don't expect your forgiveness, but I felt that I owed you an explanation. In some other world we might have been friends instead of enemies, at least that's what I hope. We all hope that you will recover soon, that my insanity didn't hurt you too much. We all hope, but no one more than I. None of the pain I have experienced in my life is even close to the pain I felt when I saw you beeing carried away.___

_Once again I ask for your forgiveness.___

_Bryan_

My head was spinning, this was crazy! It couldn't be true! What they did to them? All the hatred I had felt toward those four boys vanished in a heart beat.

"We shall be friends in this world, Bryan." I whispered to myself and pushed the calling button. I needed a pen and paper. I looked at the clook. 6.01. Mariah would be here in two hours. I had to be finished by then. The letter in my hand was a gift, a great secret revealed to me. Only to me, and no one else than Kai would ever know about it.

My letter became a bit longer than I thought it would, but I finished it within an hour and a half. Now I only had to find a way to get it to Bryan. I laid there, thinking about the lavender haired boy, worrying about him.

Mariah arrived at 8, sharp.

"Oh, Ray, how are you feeling? You should have let me to stay here with you..."

"I'm fine Mariah, just tired. You know the hospital didn't let you stay, and besides, it doesn't help any one if you get as tired as I am."

I love her like a sister, but sometimes she annoys me like hell. But I guess that's what siblings are for as I feel the same for Lee, Gary and Kevin. She is just more outspoken... And I fear that she loves me more than as a brother.

She kept talking about the preparations they were making for tonights match. After a while she started talking about my match against Bryan.

"I will kill him! I can't believe he did this to you! He's so evil and..."

"Mariah, I'm really tired, can we continue this later? I'd like to sleep..."

"Oh, of course Ray."

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. I know that it was her love for me that made her say those things, and only last night I would have agreed with the evil part. But now... Now I just wanted to defend him and that would have caused too many questions.

His letter was safely tucked into my wallet and mine was in my pocket. If I got a chance I had to have it to hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chap two then… Hope that you will all enjoy!

Warnings and disclaimer; See chap 1

I've edited chap one, just to get the names right… For some reason I just wanted to write Ray instead of Rei, so no big deal…

THANK YOU SO MUCH! To me reviewers, you make me SO happy!

This fic is also posted on my pen name there is Purple Kitten.

Once again I must thank my Beloved Beta and sister in arms Virpi!

So, let's get the show on the road right? ) R&R and you will make me happy!

Chap 2

That night, after Tyson's win.

Ray's POV

There was a bit chaotic around the blade dish, there were so many people who wanted to congratulate and thank Tyson.

I had noticed that Bryan and Spencer had disappeared right after their captains loss. Tala looked calm but determined. What were they going to do to him? He had lost... I was glad that he had but I was also worried. He and Ian were still there, Tala was talking to Mr. Dickenson and Ian was standing close by.

I managed to free myself from Mariah and edged closer to the Russians. Somehow I managed to give the letter to Ian without anyone noticing. The only sign of registration I got from him was a small, quick smile. But it was enough.

It was two a.m. and every one were still celebrating. My own happiness was shallow, skin deep. My worries were too big. In all the hyper happiness I only wanted to hear a voice of sanity and started looking for Kai. He was nowhere to be seen.

'The roof', I thought smiling to myself. Whenever Kai wanted to be alone he went to the roof. I had never let him or any one else know that I knew that. I sneaked away and slowly climbed the stairs, I was still in pretty bad shape...

I found him up there, sitting with his back to the big chimney, staring toward the Abbey. He looked sad.

"They don't hate you." I said making him startle. He raised a questioning eyebrow at me as I sat down beside him.

"The Demolition Boys, they don't hate you."

"Don't talk about things you know nothing about!" He snapped at me and stared at the Abbey again.

I sighed and pulled out my wallet, retrieving the letter. "Read this Kai."

"No." 

"It wont bite you."

"...Fine." He took the letter and unfolded it.

"It's addressed to you."

"I know, but I think you should read it all the same. It concerns you, too."

He started to read and his eyes widened. When he finished he looked at me inquiringly.

"I've already responded, gave it to Ian after the match."

"So...?" 

"So what?"

"How do you feel about it?"

"It makes me worried... Worried about what they are doing to Tala right now, worried about all of them and about you... I'm their friend, I'm your friend Kai... What was that you gave up on?"

What happened next was a complete surprise to me, Kai started crying! I did the only thing that came to my mind and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me. I just let him cry, shoothingly rubbing his back. After a while he started to calm down and sat up straight again.

"I'm sorry Ray, I didn't mean to..."

"It's ok, I'm glad you did. It gave me a chance to prove to you that I'm here for you."

"I'm... I'm just so confused at the moment... I'm happy that Tyson won and that we all got our bit beasts back, but I'm sorry I left them. And I'm scared... I'm scared that they might kill him... That I'll lose him forever..."

I reached up and dried some of his tears. He cared deeply for Tala... "Tala is strong Kai, he'll live. You've got to believe that." 

He just looked at the Abbey again and nodded.

"You care for him a lot... It's nice to see that in you." I said. 

"I love him..." Kai's voice was barely a whisper.

"Does he know?"

Kai nodded.

"And?" 

"And he loves me, too... I know that it may be hard to take that I'm gay, but..."

"Stop explaining yourself. I'm not angry or anything like that. After all that would be crazy as I'm gay, too." He just stared at me.

"I am. That was a big reason for me to leave the village... I think it's sad that we haven't trusted each other, though..."

"Me too... So you're not involved with the pink furball then?"

I laughed. "No, but she's like a sister to me so try to be nice to her."

"I am trying you know, but she's made me allergic to pink."

"She does that to a lot of people... So, what are they like?"

"The Demos?"

"Yeah." 

"Well...Let's see... I think I'll start with Bryan... I don't know how he is now since he was... well, the way he was. But when we were kids he was shy, extremely shy, and full of self-hatred."

"Why?" 

"Dunno, don't think even he knows... Ian is the opposite, full of confidence and always fooling around. He's a clown really, but his heart is bigger than he is. Spencer is calm, determinate, protecting and also fussing way too much. I guess he took the role of a mother to us. Tala... Tala is the voice of sanity, down to earth but at the same time full of fire and passion, totally crazy... He puts his soul into everything he does..."

"You missed one."

"I did?"

"Yes, you."

"Me?" 

"Yes, who do you really are, Kai?"

"I don't know... Right now I feel like a confused lonely child... But usually... Usually I'm a perfectionist. I want to be in control of everything... But I never succeed."

"You do."

"What?" 

"Succeed. You succeeded to break free and help us win."

"Maybe... But at what cost?" His eyes went back to the Abbey, as did mine. 

"Is there any way of helping them?"

"No Ray. Bryan was right about that. The only thing we can hope for is Mr. Dickenson to be successfull..."

"But then we can help them, by being there for them when they get out." 

"If they get out."

"When they get out."

"Thank you Ray... I'm really glad that I'm not alone any more..."

"So am I Kai."

"I will be leaving in the morning, in two hours to be exact. I'm going to a small town in the north, I need to clear my head. I don't want the others to know, but you can have the address. If you want." 

"Of course I do."

Two hours later I closed the door behind him. And the same day we boarded a plane back to China. I don't know who talked me into going back there, but right now my thoughts are elsewhere.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, so here's chap 3. No need to kill me then… )

Warnings and disclaimers are still on chap 1…

BIG thanks to all that has reviewed!

This is still beta read by Virpi (Birdie) and I owe her a lot! glomps

So, on with the fic. R&R, you will make me SO happy!

Chapter 3

Bryan and Spencer were sitting in their room, waiting for Ian. They held no hopes of seeing Tala until the early hours of the morning. When Ian finally arrived he immediately cuddled up on Spencer's knee.

"Do you think he'll live?"

"He said he would Bryan. That's all I can say... He said we still have to practise tomorrow... He talked to Mr. Dickenson in the stadium."

"What! Is he insane! There is no way he will live now..."

"I don't think they will hold that against him, Mr. Dickenson approached him and he was just being polite. Besides, they weren't close enough to hear what they were saying." A grim smirk appeared on the small boys face.

"Ok, what _did_ Tala say?" Spencer asked.

"That he will testify if they can close this down and see to it that there is no way of them getting hold of us again."

"Testify... about... everything?" Spencer wondered.

"I think so... He just told Mr. Dickenson that he had information that would put Voltaire away for ever..."

"That means everything... He hasn't told Kai yet..." Bryan said.

"Oh..." Came in union from the other two.

Bryan's POV

We just sat there in silence for a while. I was mainly thinking about how Kai would react when he'd found out... I didn't think he would leave Tala for it... But I had really no idea of how he would react.

"Oh right, Bryan? I've got something for you." Ian said and gave me a letter. "From Ray." He finished with a smile.

I unfolded it and read.

_Bryan,_

_You're forgiven._

_I'm not saying that I wasn't angry with you, that I didn't hate you. But your honesty touched me, your pain is now mine. Your regret is all I need to forgive you._

_There is still a lot that I don't understand about what has happened. I do, however, understand now that you are not to blame. None of you. You're not cowards, you are strong. Remember that. I hate those men for putting you through this! What was done to you was wrong, twisted and sick. But it wasn't your fault._

_Don't feel sorry for things you can't change, try to change the future instead._

_You are not alone Bryan. Besides your team, you now have me. I want to be your friend. I want to help you but I have no idea how. If this letter helps you in any way, I'll be glad._

_I'll try to help Kai, to be a friend to him. I'm not sure if he wants my help, but I'll try. And I'll tell him._

_Now it's my turn to ask for forgiveness. Forgive me for jumping to conclusions. Forgive me for not trying to look beyond the covers._

_Forgive me._

_We will try to defeat you, we have no other choice. Maybe that's a help to you as well. I know that you will be punished, at least Tala if Tyson wins. But if he doesn't we will all be hurt. I'm sorry for causing you pain, but we have to fight you._

_There will be a day when we don't have to fight any more, I'm sure of that. One day our friendship won't have to be hidden any more._

_Bryan, Falcon, your letter is so filled with pain. I want to ease it, but I don't know how. All I can say is let your soul rise high in the sky, just like the real falcons. Hold on to hope and your dreams._

_I will find a way to help you._

_Your friend,_

_Ray._

I didn't understand... He...he... he forgave me! He wanted to be my friend. My heartbeat became quicker. He... he cared!

"What did he say?" Spencer asked.

"He forgives me..." I whispered.

"Just like that?" Ian was as shocked as I was.

I just nodded.

"He... he wants to be my... friend..." I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Bryan, can I read it?" Spencer was puzzled. I gave him the letter and the two lovers read it together. I still couldn't control my tears... I felt so weak, not at all worthy of Ray's friendship.

Spencer came over to my bed and sat down beside me. He gave me the letter and put a finger under my chin to lift my head so that he could look me in the eyes.

"Bryan, hold on to this one. He's good, don't let your self-hatred and doubts in yourself destroy this. Write back to him, the address is on the back of the last page. We'll find a way to get it to him. Just hold on to him."

"I'll try... I'll do my best."

My tears came to a stop as he pulled me into a hug.

"Get some sleep Bry, you're still hurt."

"Only if you promise to wake me up when he's back."

"I promise I will wake you up when Tala's back. There, now sleep."

I laid down and curled to a small ball under the blanket. Sleep came surprisingly easy.

End Bryan's POV

"Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we have won one back just to lose another?"

"Ian, Tala has survived Voltaire, he survived the things they did to him last nigh. He's strong, the strongest one of us."

"I know, but still..."

They cuddled together, waiting for the sound of steel-toed boots in the hallway. It didn't come until five a.m. Ian rushed over to his own bed and they pretended to be asleep.

The door opened and the sound of something, _some one_, being dragged across the floor filled the room. Then "something" was thrown on the bed by the window. No hiss, no cry, no sigh, just silence. Three minds made the same pray: 'Please, let him be alive.'

The steel-toed boots left the room, slammed the door shut on the way out and faded away in the hallway again.

All three of them were beside the window bed within a heartbeat. Bryan had woken up by himself, seemed that he at least started to recover...


	4. Chapter 4

Oki… Finally here… Chap 4. I know it's taken to long, I blame the stomach flue. (

Warnings and disclaimers are still in chap 1, but I'd like to remind you of that in this fic season 2 and 3 never happened, even though it will continue over those years.

Once again THANK YOU Birdie-chan for beta-reading this! And thank you to my reviewers!

Read and review, please?

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Chapter 4

Bryan's POV

"Tala?"

I got no reply. I checked for a pulse and simply nodded when I found it, Spencer checked his breathing and gave an identical nod. We all let out a sigh. He was still alive! But he was a mess. He was covered in dirt and blood, his red hair was sticky from sweat, blood and something else. I didn't want to know what it was, though I had my suspicions.

"Let's get him into the tub." I didn't know how come but I seemed to be in charge.

Spencer carefully picked up our captain and carried him into the bathroom and placed him in the tub. Tala's clothes were completely torn, nothing to save there.

"Ian, get me some scissors. Tala?" I tried again. "Tala? Please wake up. Tala?" His eyelids fluttered but didn't open. "Tala we need you, don't give up. Just keep on fighting."

His ice blue eyes opened, but I saw that they still weren't focused.

"Tala it's ok, we're here, it's over. You survived."

Ian came in with the scissors and then he and Spencer left. The bathroom was rather small and they knew I would call for them if they were needed. I started removing the torn clothes from him. His body was covered in slashes, cuts and bruises.

"Oh Tala, what did they do to you?"

"Dungeon... Vo...Voltaire..."

I pulled him into a hug. "It's over, you survived. That's all that matters."

I let go of him and started to clean his wounds with alcohol and he gave a weak whimper.

"I'm sorry Tal, I have to do this."

"I know, this is nothing, really. I just wasn't prepared..."

It took me almost two hours to clean and patch him up. I washed his hair, too. That was almost as big challenge as his wounds. He looked vulnerable with his thick red hair hanging loosely over his shoulders. The sadness was still so clear in his eyes. That was the last injury I had to tend to.

"Kai likes it when you have your hair down, doesn't he?"

"Mmm... says... says I'm...cute..."

"You are cute."

"Don't..."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I know you're dangerous, but you _look_ cute when you have your hair down."

"Maybe should... use it to... fool people..." He gave me a weak smile and that was what I was playing for.

"Nah, save it for Kai."

"I miss him."

"I know Tala. But Ray promised he would help him, if he allows it."

"Ray?"

"He wrote back. He forgives me, forgives us."

"But... how?"

"I don't know... outsiders never care, but he wants to help, support us... I don't understand but... but I think we have a new friend."

"Friend... he wants to be friends... with us?"

"Yes. Why does it sound so strange when we say that word? I heard the Blade Breakers use it a lot, it sounds different when they say it... We are friends aren't we?"

"No, we are family." Spencer had appeared in the doorway. "It isn't possible to see where one ends and the other one starts. We are one, therefore we can not be friends. But it sounds nice to have one. I'd like to be friends with Ray."

We helped Tala to his bed, he refused to be carried.

"Ian and I will sneak off for a bit." Spencer said.

"Why?"

"There is something we need to get. Don't worry captain, we'll be careful."

"All right..."

They left in complete silence.

"Do you think we'll ever get out of here Tal?"

"I don't know Bryan. But for the first time I see hope."

"I like that word. Ray used it, too... hope."

"Sleep with me Bry? I don't want to be alone right now."

I laid down beside him, pulled the blanket over us and then wrapped my arms around him. We didn't have to fear detection that day. The day after great punishments we're always ignored. No food, no attention.

A lot of teams in the Abbey had slept with dead team mates in their room...

"I miss him..." Tala's voice was barely a whisper.

"I know, you'll be with him again."

"I don't want to tell him..."

"You have to and you know it. Especially if you're going to testify. He loves you."

Tala drifted into a shaky slumber. I tried to comfort him but he kept waking up.

"Tala?"

"Yeah?"

"Try to think about what you and Kai will do when we get out of here."

"What?"

"Dream Tala, dream."

He closed his eyes and laid completely still for several minutes, then a small smile appeared on his lips. "I like dreams, thanks Bry."

"Thank Ray instead. Now go to sleep."

He finally fell into a peaceful sleep, still with that small smile on his lips.

I let my own mind wander, it wasn't so easy when you'd never done it before. Thoughts about the future were considered dangerous among the Abbey children because you could never be sure that there was a future... But as I laid there my mind became filled with pictures of Ray... I liked this...


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, I've finally updated… I blame the chickenpox and the fact that I messed up the chapters when I sent them to my Beta / Gomen again Birdie-chan!

Disclaimer and warnings are still in chap one and it's still Beta read by Birdie. Mega thanks again Sis!

I can't thank my reviewers enough! You make me continue writing!

I won't waste any more of your time, read and enjoy and write a review if you feel like it.

Chapter 5

Ray's POV

Two weeks since we got back and I already wanted to leave again. I didn't belong to here any more. I tried, and I don't think any one noticed, but I was still hurt. I wanted to be back with the Blade Breakers. Or in Russia, with Kai and... Bryan. I thought about him all the time, worrying.

This morning was no different. I sat on my lawn but in my mind I was in Russia.

"Ray-Ray!"

"Here Mariah." I was back to reality, my smile back on.

"There's a letter for you, here."

She gave me an envelope, the address was scrambled through on it, but where the return address should have been there was a simple F in neat quill writing. My heart made a jolt. Could it be...?

"Who is it from?" Mariah asked.

"It's not polite to poke in other peoples business." I tried to joke it away, but she just pouted.

"I'm not poking, I'm just curios."

"Same thing, different name."

She pouted some more. "Please?"

"It's some one I've been writing to, that's all."

"Who?"

"A friend."

"That's not an answer."

"No, but it's all you're going to get."

"Ray, you can tell me."

I just sighed.

"Ray?"

"Mariah, it's my business. The end of the story."

"Are you cheating on me?"

"WHAT?" Ok, I didn't see that one coming. She actually thought that we were a couple!

"You are, aren't you!" She was getting worked up.

"Mariah, calm down. I'm sorry if I've done anything to make you think that I like you more than as a friend." I knew I was hurting her, but she had to know. She had to move on.

"What? What are you saying Ray? I thought... that after Russia... we were together all the time, we still are..."

"No, we weren't and we aren't. We DO spend a lot of time together because you're my friend, a sister. But I'm a lot of things that you don't know. I've changed. I love you, as a sister. And nothing more."

"But you do feel something more for this F?" She was getting angry, and I felt that she had every right to.

"It's some one I care about a lot, yes."

She stared at me, tears falling down her cheeks. "When did you meet?"

"Does it really matter?

"Yes."

"In Russia."

"No..."

"I'm sorry, but yes."

"Do I know who she is?"

"No." Since it wasn't a she, I wasn't really lying.

"I'll leave now."

"Mariah, don't hate me. I just didn't understand that you thought..."

"I don't hate you Ray. But I don't want to be around you for a while. My heart needs to heal."

"I'll wait."

She left. That went pretty good. At least she didn't bite my head off...

I walked into my kitchen and made some tea. I stayed in a small one room house on the outskirts of the village. It suited me perfectly.

I sat down with my tea and opened the envelope.

It was! It was from him... from Bryan...

_Ray_

_Thank you for your letter, it does help a lot. I still have a hard time in understanding that you actually forgave me. So I ask for you forgiveness once again._

_By the way, you must be one sly Kitten to manage to give that letter to Ian without detection._

_There has been some slight changes in the security here. The police is having the Abbey under surveillance so they had to change some things. Now we are allowed to go out to the town for two hours every Saturday. Half the team at a time. That's, of course, so that we don't run off... Anyway, that's how we managed to get a post box downtown. I'll write the address to the end of the letter._

_Spencer and I went to a café last Saturday. Maybe that is not such a big deal to any one else, but we have never done it before. To tell the truth, I liked the feeling of freedom, but there were too much people. Spencer says I've got agoraphobia. I'm not sure about that, but I don't like too much people too close to me. I don't trust them. Maybe that's stupid, but that's just the way I am. _

_I don't trust people easy, but you have sparked my curiosity... Never knew I had one until now._

_What's China like? I've studied a lot of Chinese history, but I don't know much about what's it like to live there._

_Our study period has started. We do most of our study during the summer since there is no tournament now. _

_I don't know what to say any more. I just want to say thank you once again. Thank you for answering and for forgiving me. And... Thank you for being a friend._

_Ray I'm sorry, but I must once again ask you for a favour. Do you know how to get in contact with Kai? Or could you get him to contact us? Tala is sick, really sick. They did something to him the night before his match with Tyson. That combined with the punishment he received afterwards is making his body shut down. I think that there might be a chance for him to start to fight again. He's on the verge on giving up and he really misses Kai. I don't know what Kai has told you, but they have a strong connection._

_Please try, I don't want my captain to give up._

_Your Falcon_

My Falcon? I liked the sound of that...

As glad as I was about their new freedom, the only thing on my mind at that moment was Tala. I needed to borrow the village's phone, that was for sure. I put the letter in my pocket and grabbed my wallet and ran into the centre of the village.

The phone was located in the school, good thing it was a summer break now. I didn't want to fight over the phone. I got into the one room house and locked the door behind me. The phone was old, but it usually worked. I pulled out Kai's phone number from my wallet and dialled the number. There was a long silence before it finally connected. After five tones some one answered.

"Yes?"

"Kai?"

"Who wants to know?"

I couldn't help but smile, that was definitely Kai.

"A cat from China."

"Ray." He chuckled. "It's the middle of the night here."

"Sorry, but I had to call. You have to go back to Moscow. Tala's sick. Bryan says he's giving up. He misses you."

There was a long silence.

"You're right. I have to go there, but how am I to get into the Abbey?"

"Falcon says the cops are in the place, that they had to loosen their security up a bit. Just so it won't look _too_ suspicious. Call Mr. Dickenson, maybe he can help you."

"I think... I think that's a good idea. Thank you Ray, I seem to be not able to think straight at the moment."

"It's nothing. I wish I could be there for you."

"You are, just not physically. By the way, _Falcon_?"

I blushed, I couldn't believe I just said that out loud!

"Well, he is a Falcon, isn't he?"

"Actually, I think you're right. I do, however, have a feeling that if any one but you called him that he would get their heads."

"Well, he's the only one allowed to call me Kitten."

"He is?"

I blushed again.

"I'm just worried about him, that's all..."

"Yeah, right." The sarcasm was dripping from Kai's voice.

"Kai... Please..."

"Ray, just so you know, he is gay, at least that's what Tala said."

"What?"

"We all are. Tala and I, Spencer and Ian. And Bryan of course. I don't think he's ever had a boyfriend though, hearsay from Tala again. I would be happy if it'd work out between the two of you. But that's up to you two. Just don't play with him."

"Never!"

"Good. Sorry, but I guess I'm a bit overprotective over them these days."

"It's ok. That would be something to throw in the homophobes' faces though, the mighty Demolition Boys are gay."

Kai laughed out loud.

"You know Kai, I like the sound of you laughing."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Listen, I really need to go now. But tell them hi from me, all of them. And... I miss you Kai."

"I miss you too, Ray. I'll try to contact you some way when I know some more."

"Do that. But don't call here, Mariah would have a fit."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

We hung up. My worries had lightened somewhat. I trusted Kai completely with this. He loved Tala. Kai could love and therefore that person was special. Even to me.

My thoughts went back to Bryan's letter instead. Why did the sound of "my Falcon" send shivers down my spine, why did I allow him to call me Kitten? I hardly knew him... Sure, now afterwards I was able to accept the fact that he was gorgeous. When we first met I detested him, but now... Kai sure seemed to think that there was something between us. But I still don't know him. Then again, you don't really have to know some one to have a crush on them, do you? Ok, I just have to admit it. I have a crush on Bryan. There, done.

It didn't help, I'm still confused. I think I'll just go to blade.

I sent a reply to Bryan the next day. It took me almost the entire night to write it.

Admittedly I was amazed by the risks they were willing to take for each others, for the others' happiness. I had realized during my writing what an achievement it had been for Ian to come to me at the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I'm just going to say that disclaimer and warnings are still in chap 1 and that this is still beta-read by Birdie-chan. I'm so great full to you Sis!

And I also want to say THANK YOU to all that has reviewed!

Now, on with the story.

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Three weeks passed and still no sound came from Russia. Neither from Kai or... or Falcon. I was really worried now. I wouldn't have wanted to talk much, but Lee was constantly on my case. Like this morning, but this time it was about Mariah. We were sitting on my lawn.

"She really likes you Ray."

"I know that Lee, that's the problem. I don't like her in that way."

"Ray, she would be a good wife."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like her in that way. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I just don't understand why you don't like her in that way."

"Maybe he's as allergic to pink as I am."

My head snapped around. There, by my door, was Kai! I leaped up from the grass and threw myself at him, hugging him. He squeezed me briefly, so briefly that it was hardly notable. Then he firmly put me down again.

"I think some one has had lessons from Max."

"No, just happy to see you."

"Lee." Kai greeted.

"What are you doing here? Came to try to take Ray away again? I'm not going to let that happen."

"I thought you were past all that Lee." I said, staring at him.

"I don't trust him. Just because he was smart enough to pick the winning side doesn't mean that he really wants to be there. He just realized where he had most to gain and..."

I slapped him across the face.

"How dare you Lee! He lost Dranzer, just as you lost Galeon. And he turned against the only family he has left. That has nothing to do with power. If he wanted that, he would have taken Black Dranzer. So, how DARE you!"

They were both staring at me.

"Ray, it doesn't matter. I'm used to it..."

"You shouldn't be Kai. It's not fair."

"You're right Ray. I'm sorry Kai. I doubt we will ever be friends, but I won't fight you any more." With that Lee left and I dragged Kai inside instead.

"Want some lunch?"

"Sure."

I started to prepare lunch and Kai leaned on the wall.

"So, how's Tala?"

"He's alive... Still very weak, but getting stronger. He told me to thank you."

"It was nothing."

"It is to them."

"I've understood that, but I still don't understand... If you get me."

"You're their first friend from outside the Abbey and they are ecstatic about it. They are still trying to learn to say the word in English without it all sounding all weird."

My mouth fell open and I just stared at him.

"If you are that dumbfounded by that, you might want to sit down for this."

"What?"

He smiled the purest, most shining smile I've ever seen. "They're out Ray. They're safe."

Once again I found myself jumping at him. This time he hugged me, hard.

"They're safe." He whispered in my hair.

"How?" We broke apart and sat down at the table, lunch forgotten.

"I did as you said and called Mr. Dickenson. I told him that I wanted to check up on them. You know how he is with friendship so of course he fixed it. He and the police managed to get a search warrant for illegal substances and evidence of child abuse, and I was allowed to go with them when they were going to execute the search. You should have seen the faces on Bry, Spence and Ian when I opened the door. It was hilarious. The state Tala was in wasn't though... They had done the best they could, I seriously think Bryan should consider a career in medicine. But the truth was that Tala was dying... I've never seen Tala look like that... weak. He was always the strongest one when we were kids. Still is, but... Anyway, we got him to the hospital and he's recovering now."

"So did they find any evidence? Are they going to be able to lock those devils away?"

Kai suddenly became very pale, he looked as if he was sick. "They found evidence, yes..."

"What Kai? What's wrong?"

"Ian and Spencer had managed to steal a survaillance tape... From the night after the finals... Tala didn't want me to watch it, even tried to order me. I didn't listen, I wish I had..."

"What was on that tape, Kai?"

"It was... You can never talk about this to any one, understand? The rest of the Demos know, but they don't talk about it..." Kai closed his eyes and shook his head as if he tried to rid himself of the mental images that were inside his head.

A/N I know I made a cliffy, but I hope that you will forgive me… Review and I'll update faster….


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ok, I've finally updated… I'm SO sorry for the long wait, but unfortunately I have had other things to do… I'll make it up to you with a lemon in the next chap…

Warnings and disclaimers are in chap 1. It's still beta-read by Birdie-chan. THANK YOU! Ok, I'll ramble less and get on with the story )

Mega THANKS to all that has reviewed! You're my inspiration and I'm SO, SO, SO SORRY for not updating sooner, please forgive me?

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Ray's pov

"Kai, it's ok. You don't have to tell me."

"Yes I do. I have to talk to some one. And as I said, the Demos don't talk about it... Ray, that tape was of Voltaire, my "grandfather", raping Tala. Apparently he has done that every time he has been in Russia since he took me to Japan..."

"Oh god! I'm so sorry Kai..."

"The worst thing is... Is that Tala thinks I'll leave him because of it. He hardly speaks to me any more."

"He's scared, and he probably feels ashamed."

"Why should he be ashamed?"

"Remember the restaurant in Hong Kong I worked in?"

"Yes?"

"One of the waitresses there got raped, and the one thing she kept saying was that she was ashamed of herself. Ashamed that she couldn't protect herself and that she was now "tainted". Don't you think Tala is feeling the same? And I bet it doesn't help that it was your grandfather. He probably thinks you will blame him."

"I would never do that!"

"I know that. But when you're scared you don't think straight. And from what I've understood, they haven't exactly experienced that much love and respect in their lives."

"You're right about that."

"You just have to find a way to show him that you love him, that you won't leave. I can't tell you how to do that because I don't know Tala. But you do."

"Yeah..."

"Just think about it. So where are you living now?"

"Tala's still in the hospital, but the rest of us have moved into a four room apartment in Moscow. I could have used your help a couple of times..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, cooking and such things weren't exactly on the schedule in the Abbey. It took two hours for Spencer to figure out how the laundry machine worked. I never thought there would be so many difficulties once they'd get out..."

"I guess... I guess it's like they have been living in a cult or something. You know, completely sealed off from the world. How are they doing with it? I have a feeling that none of them are very keen on accepting help."

"You're right. They rather take a whole day to complete something than ask for some help. They even have a hard time with me helping them."

"Maybe that's a good thing. If they are so keen to be independent they'll probably adjust quicker. How's it going with Bryan's agoraphobia?"

"He told you about that? You really must have made an impression on him to make him trust you that much... Well, to tell the truth, it isn't going too well. He hardly wants to leave the apartment during the days. Once the sun has set he can come out with us... It's unnerving to see some one as strong as he is this scared..."

"But he doesn't want any help with that either, right?"

"Right."

"I can try to help him, even though it's just letters. Maybe it's even better that way. He doesn't have to face me, so maybe it's easier to accept help from me."

"I hope you're right."

"Is there anything else I could do to help?"

"Come and visit some time?"

"I'd love to."

"By the way, the Falcon decided to use the Phoenix as a dove to deliver a letter to the Kitten." Kai smirked.

"You're NOT allowed to call me Kitten."

"Sorry, but it's hard not to when you live with some one who keeps saying it in his sleep."

"He does that?"

"You like it?" He smirked again.

"Yeah... I do... You know you could have just written a letter, you didn't have to come here."

"I know. But I missed you and I needed some one to talk to about Tala... And I thought you deserved to hear this face to face. You've helped us a lot."

"Thanks."

We just sat there for a while, before Kai shook his head and smiled at me.

"You puzzle me Ray."

"I do?"

"Yes. We hurt you and your friends, we tried to steal one of your most precious possessions, and he almost killed you. And you start to care about us... you start to fall for him. You must have the purest heart in the world, you know."

"I don't. But I follow my heart. You're good people, all of you. Life just hasn't been fair to you. People aren't fair to you, but I'm not like them..."

I looked down at the envelope he had given me, at the neat "F".

"Mariah thinks I have a girlfriend in Russia."

"So she has finally given up?"

"Yeah, she has actually been pretty good about it. No screaming or things like that."

"I'm impressed."

"So am I. Lee on the other hand thinks that we should be together, as you heard."

"Hn."

"Why does he write with a quill?"

"A bit of vanity I guess. It's a falcon quill. Actually, it's one of Falborg's quills."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope, Bryan and Falborg's connection is the strongest one I've ever seen between bit beast and master. Bryan simply loves everything in falcons."

"Then I know what to get for his birthday."

"Then we need to find out when it is."

"When what is?"

"His birthday. It's sometime in December, I know that... But they didn't really celebrate birthdays in the Abbey. At the last day of the month they declared who was a year older, that's it."

"And you? Have you been celebrating your birthday?"

"Somewhat since I went to school in Japan for a while..."

"Well, we'll just have to change that!"

He laughed and so did I. There was a great sadness in the things he told me, but if he chose to see it from the bright side, then so would I. He stayed a couple of days, keeping away from the rest of the village, the Tigers in particular. He gained some confidence in that he would be able to convince Tala about his love during his visit. Even though I got a feeling that he doubted that Tala loved him…

He was going to leave in an hour and we sat on my bed, talking, when he suddenly swore.

"What?"

"I almost forgot. Lee was sort of right. Mr. D. has announced that there won't be a world tour this year, they need to clean up the mess that Biovolt created, but the Blade Breakers will get together anyway."

"For real?" I felt like jumping up and down from happiness.

"Yes. There will be a get-together for all the teams in Hong Kong in two months and after that we will go back to Japan. If you still want to be on the team, that is."

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want to. Wait, does that mean that you will come, too?"

"Yes."

"But, why?"

"It feels right."

"Ok... Will they come to the gathering too?"

"No. I doubt that Tala will be strong enough to travel. And even if he would be, they still have too much on their schedule. With the trials starting and all."

"Don't you have to be there for that?"

"Tala won't let me. He says that it was bad enough that I saw that tape once... And I don't really have anything to testify about... Not compared to them."

As I watched Kai leave later that day I couldn't help but make a prayer that all of the Demolition Boys would be ok. Including the fifth member that we were allowed to borrow…

R&R?


	8. Chapter 8

Hey every one! I'm so, so sorry for not updating this sooner… Life, including going back to school and getting married, has a way of getting in the way / Anyway, I will NOT abandon this story, most of it is already done on paper, so don't worry, even if updates will be far apart.

This chapter, as the earlier ones, has been beta read by Birdie, ARIGATO Sis!

Disclaimers and warnings is in the first chap. But I will issue an extra warning in this chapter since it will contain a lemon… It will be marked, but you have been warned.

Manny, many thanks to my reviewers! You make me a very happy Kitten.

Let's get going then, shall we?

Chap 9

Tala and Kai. Normal POV

Tala had arrived home during Kai's trip to China, and even though he was hardly allowed to leave the bed, he was glad to be away from all those people with robes. His rational side told him that the doctors were only trying to help, but white jackets had only meant pain to him in the past, and that memory was nothing you erased in a second.

Kai opened the door to the apartment and was met by the quiet sound of the TV playing. He kicked off his shoes and dumped his backpack on the floor and walked into the living room, where he found Bryan asleep on the couch. The lavender-haired boy was trembling slightly. Kai sat down beside him and shook him awake. The lilac eyes opened and a small smile of recognition played over Bryan's lips.

"Slept well?"

"Not really, thanks for waking me up."

"What did you dream about?"

"The match with Ray... How is he?"

"He's fine. He worries about you."

"He does?"

"Yes. I have a letter from him for you, here."

Kai noticed the way that Bryan's eyes lit up at the sight of the letter.

"You like him, don't you?"

Bryan shook his head. "It doesn't matter if I do or not. He's not for me anyway."

"Why don't you let him decide that?"

"Kai, I don't even know if he likes boys or not."

"He does."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I am."

Bryan just stared blankly at the envelope in his hand for a while.

"It still doesn't matter. He is too good for some one like me."

"What is wrong with the way you are? Why shouldn't you be allowed happiness Bry? Listen, I know that we hardly saw eye to eye when I returned, and we have hardly talked since you got out, but you're still my friend. I was an idiot when it came to the Black Dranzer and you were brainwashed, can't we just forget about what happened between us during the world championships?"

"I hold nothing of that against you Kai... That's not the reason I've been keeping my distance..."

"Then what Bry?"

"Tala... I was, no I AM afraid that you will leave him because... You know..."

"I won't leave him Bryan, not now, not ever. I love him. I'll have to talk with him about all of this. We have to work through this, and I think we'll need your help."

"I'll try..."

"Thanks, are Spencer and Ian at the hospital?"

"Nope. They went grocery shopping, no need to go to the hospital anymore."

"What do you mean Bry?"

"Go check your bedroom instead." Bryan gave Kai a big smile.

Kai didn't need to be told twice. He silently got into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. There, on the bed was his Tala... His... The red hair and pale, almost white skin were in complete contrast to the black silk sheets.

It was the most beautiful thing Kai had ever seen.

Tala was asleep, his chest rising and falling irregularly, still hurt, still weak... Kai sat down on the bed and let his fingers comb through the soft, red hair. The movement was so careful, so feather light, but it still woke the sleeping beauty. Ice blue eyes met crimson ones for a second before looking up at the ceiling.

"Kai... I..."

"Ssh, let me say something first. I know you're hurt, both physically and mentally, but you're not destroyed. Nothing that ever happens, or has happened, can make me stop loving you. I don't remember much from our childhood, just glimpses. But you are in almost every one of them. I don't know how to prove to you that I won't leave you..."

"Kai, you don't understand. You deserve better, I'm used... You deserve some one pure and I'm disgusting. It was ok when I could pretend that I wasn't, when you didn't know..."

Kai laid down on his side beside Tala and rested his hand on the elder's chest.

"Tala, first of, you're not disgusting, you're wonderful. Secondly, why isn't what I want what I deserve? Why won't you let me close? It's the only thing I want, your love is all I wish for... Why can't you give it anymore? Nothing has changed for me, only for you... I know that this is difficult for you, and believe me, I wish that _he_ will burn in hell for what he did to you. But it was my feelings for _him_ that changed by that tape, not my feelings for you."

"You really mean that?"

"Look at me Tal."

Tala finally turned his eyes back to the boy he had loved his entire life. There was no accusation in the crimson eyes, no disgust, just a silent plead.

"Please love me again Tala?"

"How can you think that I've ever stopped?"

"You don't talk to me... You don't look at me... I just want to be there for you and you won't allow me..."

"I'll always love you Kai... Always."

Tala rolled on to his side, so that they were facing each others, and let his finger trace the outer lines of the blue face paint.

"How are your injuries?" Kai asked.

"Better, much better. I'm just tired, and Spence won't let me out of bed..."

Tala didn't feel like talking anymore, he wanted to show Kai that he loved him, and he wanted to know if Kai really loved him. He closed the space between them and placed a light kiss on Kais lip's, waiting for a reaction. The reaction he got was not the one he had expected.

Kai placed one hand at the base of his neck and pulled him closer. The kiss became rougher and Tala let his tongue brush against Kai's lips, which instantly parted. To Tala's surprise, Kai didn't put up a fight at all, but simply let Tala explore his mouth. A soft moan escaped the blue-haired teen. Tala pulled back and looked questiongly at him.

"What's wrong Tala?"

"Nothing... It's just... You're not even going to try to fight me for this?"

"Why should I? I'm yours... That's if you want me..."

Tala couldn't believe his eyes! Kai blushed and looked away. He actually really doubted that Tala wanted him! He wouldn't have that. He pulled his Phoenix into a deep kiss again. HIS Phoenix, a surge of possessiveness washed through him.

Lemon---------------------------------------------------------------------

He let his right hand travel under Kai's T-shirt and up the firm abs. Kai laid down, letting him have a full access to whatever he wanted. He broke the kiss and pulled off the annoying T-shirt. He let his lips replace his hand on Kai's stomach and slowly worked his way up, drawing moans and gasps from the younger one. He closed his lips around one of the soft nipples, sucking it lightly. At the same time he placed a hand on Kai's hardening member.

"God Tal!"

Kai's hips bucked up against his hand. Tala felt himself growing hard at the mere sounds Kai was making. He let his lips work their way up to Kai's neck as he continued to stroke him.

Kai let his own hands work their way up under Tala's T-shirt, carefully pulling him closer as Tala once again captured his lips. The kisses grew more passionate and Tala's blue T-shirt and Kai's black jeans disappeared.

They laid there, eyes roaming the nearly naked bodies, fingers tattooing skin with softness that was never before experienced by either of them, eyes telling all the things of love they didn't have the words to express.

Tala carefully removed their remaining clothing. He let his tongue run over Kai's erection before taking it into his mouth. He placed his hands on Kai's hips to prevent him from thrusting upwards. Not that he didn't try. Kai moaned and tossed his head from side to side, letting his eyes fall closed. Tala's actions were torturously slow and soft. He wanted more, so much more, but he let Tala do the leading. Tala closed one hand around what didn't fit into his mouth and started to bob his head. He let his mouth be slightly open so that saliva and precum ran down over his hand. When his hand was completely soaked he removed it from the cock, getting a low growl of disappointment from his lover. He smirked but kept sucking as he pushed one finger into Kai. The dual-haired man froze and tensed up. Tala stopped sucking and crawled up to face his love, without removing his finger though.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to, Kai."

"I want it... I'm just... nervous, I guess..."

"Wait, you mean you haven't...?"

Kai blushed and shook his head.

"But I want to..." He bucked his hips towards Tala's hand and smirked as his lover's eyes widened.

"You won't hurt me, I know that."

Tala kissed Kai again and pushed another finger into his uke. He scissored them slightly, before pushing another in. Kai kept bucking his hips, wanting more, which surprised Tala. But he didn't complain.

When he felt that Kai was prepared enough, he pulled his fingers out, broke the kiss and looked around the room.

"What are you looking for love?"

"Some form of lube... I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. Just do it carefully..."

Tala nodded and placed himself between Kai's legs and gently pushed inside while kissing him. Kai didn't tense up this time, but instead pushed himself against Tala, making him go deeper. Kai had dreamt about this ever since they got together, and he wasn't going to let his nerves destroy it. Sure, it hurt some, but mainly there was just pleasure. Soon they had developed a slow rhythm that made them both moan in pleasure. Kai urged Tala go faster and suddenly his body twitched in pure bliss. Tala knew what he had found and kept hitting the sweet spot inside Kai.

It didn't take many thrusts until Kai came all over them. When his muscles clamped down around Tala's erection, the redhead was unable to restrain himself and filled Kai's tightness with cum. Tala slowly pulled out and licked Kai's abs clean from the cum before once again kissing him deeply.

End lemon-------------------------------------------

They cuddled together and Tala draped the covers over them.

"Welcome home love, I've missed you by the way." Tala smiled.

"I've missed you too... Home..."

"It sounds weird, doesn't it? Too bad you can't stay forever."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be, you're needed there. And we owe them much, so I think they can borrow you for a while. But only borrow..."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Understanding."

Kai rested his head on Tala's shoulder and soon sleep overcame him. Tala stayed awake a while longer, running his fingers through the soft two-toned hair.

"Thank you for bringing innocence and love back into my life." He whispered and kissed the sleeping teen's forehead before falling asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi everyone…. I'm really SO sorry for being so slow on updating this!!! But as I said in the last chap, there's no way I'm giving up on this, I swear!

Betad by the lovely Virpi-chan as always, THANK YOU!!!!

Warnings n disclaimer is in the first chap.

Thanks a billion to everyone that has reviewed, you're what keeps me writing!!! A special thanks to Keba-kun since you picked me up at REAL low point!

R&R?

The get-together.

Mr. Dickenson had just told them about the small tournament that was going to be held during the week. Then he and Ray had left for the airport to pick up Kai and fix some paperwork that had something to do with the fact that the two oldest teens on the Blade Breakers weren't blading for their mother countries. Tyson hadn't really paid attention, he knew that Chief did that for him.

They were all there; the White Tigers, who apparently had been allowed to move to Hong Kong now; the ever technique-loving All Starz; the proud and powerful Majestics, and then of course, the Blade Breakers. Well, the Majestics weren't there physically right now, they had gone off to do some practise, but still they were there. Tyson frowned, he knew that there was something missing. He looked at Mariah as Dizzy tried to teach her how to e-mail when realization hit him.

"Hey Chief! Aren't the Demolition Boys coming?"

"No. Mr. Dickenson said that they had something else to attend to."

"Shame."

"What do you mean "shame", Tyson?" Michael snarled.

"It would have been nice to see how they were doing."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No… What's the matter Michael?"

"I can't believe you're so naïve! We should be glad that they aren't here. Do you want to re-live the world finals? If it was up to me they wouldn't even be allowed to stay on the tour!"

"We don't know them Michael, maybe they were being forced to do what they did."

"You don't really believe that, do you? Look at Kai, he went there on his own free will and he left on his own accord too. If they hadn't wanted to be there, then why didn't they simply leave like he did?" Mariah said.

"But…"

"But what? Have you forgotten what they did to Max, what they did to Ray? Ray was almost killed by that freak. And he enjoyed hurting him!" Lee growled.

"That was Bryan, you can't blame all of them for what one did..." Max said. He wasn't sure if he agreed with Tyson, but he wasn't going to desert his best friend.

"But they knew, Max!" Emily said.

"You can't know that."

"Of course they knew, Tyson. Or at least they understood pretty soon what was about to happen, and they didn't even try to stop him!" Mariah snarled.

"But…"

"Listen, if it had been one of your teammates, if it had been Ray who had done those things, wouldn't you have tried to stop him at least?" Michael asked.

"Maybe…"

"I'm sorry Tyson, but I think they're right. You would have done everything you just could to stop one of us from doing something like that. And we both know it." Chief said.

"They did those things for fun. I'm not sure if I'll trust even Kai completely ever again. And I'm not going to invite the Devil into my home, if you know what I mean." Emily said.

"Max? What do you think?"

"To be honest, Tyson, I don't know… You DO have a thing for trusting people a little bit too easy… They took my Draciel. You can't expect me to forget that in a heartbeat… And I know that they would have taken Dragoon if Tala had won, remember that…"

Tyson felt confused, but maybe they were right…

All the things that had happened during the finals flashed by, Kai appearing on the other team… Kai on that lake… The way the Demolition Boys had crashed their bus and taken Draciel and… hurt Max. The faces of all the bladers who had lost their bit beasts.

And most of all, the way Bryan had hurt Ray.

He looked over the bladers in the room, they were his friends, they were here. If the Demolition Boys really had changed, wouldn't they have been here too then? To prove themselves?

Michael was right, the Demos were no good! Tyson felt so angry, at them and at himself for allowing them to fool him.

Ray and Kai kept smiling at each other in the backseat, only half-listening to Mr. Dickenson's talk about the new rules. Ray couldn't help but feel like they were a couple of school girls giggling behind the teacher's back. It was obvious that Kai tried to keep his usual cold posture up, and finally the Russian was staring out of the window to prevent himself from laughing out load. He tried to think up something to talk about…

"How come Max doesn't need this paperwork, too?" He finally asked Mr. Dickenson.

"Well, that's because he has a Japanese nationality as well as an American. We thought you had that too, Kai, but it turned out that your grandfather never applied one for you…"

Both Ray and Mr. Dickenson noticed the change in Kai's mood at the mention of his grandfather.

" "He" is not my grandfather!"

All laughter was gone from the Russian teen and he didn't say another word until he was alone with Ray in their shared hotel room. Actually it was Ray who started to talk.

"Are you ok Kai?"

"No."

"Talk to me Kai, please?"

"I don't know what to say… Mr. Dickenson knows, Ray… He knows what "he" did to Tala… How can he think I would ever want to call that pathetic excuse of a human being a relative of mine?!"

"Calm down Kai. I think he was trying to insult neither you or Tala… He didn't think, that's all. And does he even know the truth about you and Tala?"

"No… No he doesn't. The only one outside the Demos who knows is you…"

"So… How are they? How is Tala? Did you manage to talk to him?"

"That's a lot of questions at one time. They are ok… Tala is pretty much back to normal, still weak though, and he's going crazy with Spencer's fussing. And we've fixed things… We're fine…"

"Oh, _just_ fine?" Ray teased.

To his astonishment Kai blushed.

"Are you serious? Have you... you know...?"

Kai blushed deeper but nodded.

"Wow… You must really have gotten through to him if he allowed you to… You know…"

Kai threw himself on his bed and didn't look at Ray as he said;

"It might have to do with the fact that I didn't do anything to him…"

Ray let out a low laugh.

"So the great Kai actually subdues to some one, huh?"

"So? Is that really so hard to believe? I mean, we're talking about Tala here."

"You're right… What was that name Tyson used of him tonight… Captain evil?"

"Yeah… I think that was it. You know, I'd hope they would have gotten over the whole thing…"

"Give them some time. They don't know the Demos, and they don't know the truth about what really happened back there. Are you going to tell them?"

"No, we aren't. The trials are going to be held behind locked doors, and they - we - don't want any one to know. Not just yet, at least…"

"Why not? It might give them some understanding for all of you…"

"Maybe. They may also end up using it against us… Or even worse, they might pity us. We don't want pity."

"Then why did you trust me? I might have reacted that way too."

"Yes. And don't think for a second that that wasn't what Bryan expected you to do. But he was so hysterical after your match that the only thing they could think of was to let him apologize. Listen Ray, as much as it might help the bladers who're here to know, it would hurt the Demos. To them - us - it's like admitting you're weak. And don't you understand that with them knowing the truth about the Abbey, they'd come to know the truth about a lot of things. Bryan's fear of crowded places for example…"

"Well, at least he's working on that one."

"I know, it shows. But the only one he talks to about it is you. By the way, there must be a shortage of paper in both China and Russia by now. How many letters do you write in a week?!"

"A many as needed. By the way, last time he wrote he wrote something strange… He wrote that I didn't have to write him, that he didn't want to be a burden to me… Does he mean that he doesn't want me to write any more?"

"The opposite I think. He lives for those letters Ray. So don't you dare to stop."

"No need to worry about that. By the way, care to teach me Russian?" Ray smiled.

"Sure."


	10. Chapter 10

Finally an update… I will try to do better, but things has a way of interfering (

I still don't own and the warnings are still in chap 1 )

As always I own my soul to my Beta, Virpi. You're the best Sis!!!

A HUGE thanks to my reviewers!!!!!!!

R&R?

Chapter 11

Four months passed, Ray and Bryan kept writing each other. It lead to much torment for Ray from his younger team mates about his secret girlfriend. Kai had turned out to be an exellent teacher and Ray had soon developed a love for the Russian language.

It was now the 28th of November and the team was having breakfast, Chief was handing out today's mail. Mainly fan mail.

"Hey Ray, it's a letter from your girlfriend again."

Chief tossed the envelope to Ray, who tore it open. He didn't know why, usually he only read them in his and Kai's room. Maybe it was because he wondered what the Falcon wanted and it was his turn to write.

_Ray_

_I freaking did it! I went to that damned super market, alone, in broad daylight!! It was nerve-wrecking; I smoked almost an entire package on the way there. But I did it!_

_I can't believe I'm letting such a small thing dominate my life so much. It feels as if I've finally been given my freedom… I doubt I'll ever be really comfortable with a lot of people and open spaces, but now I'm one step closer to normality…_

_Me, normal… That sounds like a joke, huh?_

_Thanks for your support… It means the world to me._

_Your Falcon_

It was the shortest letter he'd ever received from Bryan, but apart from the first one, none of them had meant as much as this one did.

Suddenly Ray realised that Tyson and Kai were fighting again over Tyson's eating habits. He sighed and left the kitchen, heading for the bedroom. He flopped down onto his bed and started to write a response to his Falcon.

Ray's POV

I heard the door open and Kai entered.

"Did he give in?"

"More or less, Max and Kenny sided with me so he stopped arguing at least. You want me to take that to him?"

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, on the first."

"Oh…"

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to spend Christmas in Russia."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"I'd love to!"

We had somehow managed to learn how to talk about our loved ones without really talking about them. I wanted to talk in front of the others, but they were still hurting because of the Finals, and Kai and I had realised that telling them wouldn't make a difference. Not when they couldn't have the whole truth. But it still hurt when they insulted my Falcon, though…

"Good, cause your flight leaves on the 18th." He said and threw a ticket at me with a small smile. He then locked the door and came over to sit next to me.

"We have never celebrated Christmas before. Will you help us with it?" He whispered. A bang of sadness went through me before I answered him.

"Of course I will."

"Thank you. Oh, and Falcon was born on Christmas Eve… But he doesn't know that yet, thought you might want to know though…" He smirked at me.

"Thanks Kai. How is Tala?"

"Better, almost back to normal… He still has a lot of nightmares though."

"Did…. Did…"he" get convicted?"

"Yeah, he and Boris both were sentenced to life imprisonment. Mr. Dickenson is our legal guardian now. But we're free to do whatever we want, as long as it's legal."

"Cool!"

"I still can't believe we're free…"

Kai left early in the morning, the others were still asleep. He gave me one of those rare hugs and said: "Try to stay sane with them. I'll see you in 18 days."

"Ok. Tell them that I'm really looking forward to meet them."

"Will do. Take care, little brother."

He left and I went back to the kitchen and poured myself another cup of coffee. I sat down at the table and let my mind wander freely. An hour later Kenny came into the kitchen, yawning.

"Morning Ray."

"Morning Chief."

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"Just thinking about which Christmas gifts to buy."

"I know what you mean." He put the kettle on the stove.

"Ray?"

"Yes?"

"Uhm… I've been meaning to ask you something… You and Mariah, are you still a couple?"

"What? No, we never were."

"But… In Russia… I thought…"

"She thought so too… I needed her as a friend at the time, but I guess I wasn't clear enough about it. She's like a sister to me, even though we don't have much contact these days."

"So she isn't that F girl?"

Somehow I got the feeling that Bryan wouldn't be happy with some one calling him a girl, but that was another matter.

"No, she isn't. Why do you ask by the way?"

He blushed profoundly. "Well… It's… It's just that we've been e-mailing each other and…"

"And you like her?"

He nodded.

"I'm glad Chief. Just watch your back, she has claws. And don't hurt her. I did enough of that to her."

"You don't mind then?"

"Not at all."

The kettle started to whistle and as Chief poured himself some tea Max and Tyson entered the kitchen. Soon they were sitting at the table, eating and talking happily about everything and nothing.

"Hey, where's Kai?" Tyson asked suddenly.

"He left to Russia this morning." I answered.

"He did _what_?! He's leaving us again?! And you knew and didn't try to stop him?"

"Calm down, he's going to spend Christmas in his home country, that's not a crime. He'll be back in the beginning of January, ok?"

"But... It's almost a month to Christmas. Why did he leave already?" Max asked.

"He had some things to take care of."

"Yeah, like going back to those mental Demolition Boys! I'm telling you, he's going to team up with those freaks again!"

"He won't. Why are you still so mad at them? It's been seven months and it seems to me that you're only getting more and more upset with them."

"What they did was sick, twisted and purely evil!! You were almost killed Ray! And how could they have changed when Kai hasn't? He's still the 'loner'. The only one he really talks to is you."

"That may be because I'm the only one who doesn't judge him for going to the Abbey."

"I don't judge him."

"The way you talk about the whole experience you could've fooled me." I got up and was about to leave the room, this was not a discussion I wanted to go through right now.

"Ray, don't tell me you've forgotten what happened back there? You hated them too."

"I did. But it's in the past Tyson. Let it stay there."

I went to my room and threw myself onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. Why can't we be more like them? If there was one thing that I had come to understand about the Russians, it was that they held no secrets from each other.

"What's wrong with you Ray?" Tyson's voice came from the now open door.

"Nothing."

"You've changed."

"We all have."

"Why don't you want to talk about Russia?"

"I just don't."

"That's not a reason."

"It's the best you're going to get."

He sighed and shook his head.

"So, are you going to stay for Christmas or are you going back to China?"

"Neither, I'll go to Kai."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Don't scream. I'll go to Kai. It's as simple as that."

"No, it isn't!! Why rather be with Mr. Sourpuss than us?"

"Don't call him that!"

"That's what he is. Answer the question!"

Max and Kenny had come into the room as well now, and were looking at the both of us nervously. I took a deep breath, maybe Kai would kill me for saying this, but they needed to start to understand him.

"He needs me Tyson. He has never celebrated Christmas before and he wants to do it in his home country."

"He… Never… Never celebrated Christmas?"

"Correct."

"But… How? Why?"

"That is not for me to say. Just stay away from his case. And mine too, by the way."

"Sorry…"

"It's ok. You just have to realise that you don't know Kai as well as you think you do. He will let you know, when he's ready…"

All three of them looked shell-shocked, but they nodded.

We didn't talk about it again and they all came with me to the airport.

"Have a safe flight Ray."

"I'll try Maxie."

"Tell Kai merry Christmas." Tyson said.

"Will do."

"And watch out for those Demolition Boys. We want you back here in one piece, and I don't doubt they'd beat you up if they got the chance."

I couldn't help it, I just broke down laughing. If they only knew…

"I'm sure I can handle them."

I'm still laughing as I give each of them a hug. I think they might think I've gone insane, but I really don't care. Soon I'll finally meet my Falcon. MY Falcon, I'm going to make sure of that.


	11. Chapter 11

AN. I'm so sorry for the slow update on this fic, RL has a way of getting in the way. That plus the fact that I've become obsessed with Prince of Tennis recently is making updates on my Bey Blade and Naruto work slow. But please don't give up on me since I have no plan on giving up on either of my fics.

A billion thanks to my reviewers!!!!

I still own my soul to Virpi for beta reading this, I luf you Sis!

Warnings and disclaimer are in chap one. R&R please?

Chapter 11

Ray's POV

Several hours later I was making my way through the Moscow airport. Something caught my eye and I turned.

Tala. No one else has _that_ red hair. They were all there, but they hadn't spotted me yet. Tala was standing behind Kai, holding him close. Ian and Spencer were on their right, holding hands. To their left was my Falcon, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

Their faces were blank, but not the same cold, emotionless facades they had been almost eight months ago. This was something different.

Then I got it, they were nervous!

'I'm their first friend from the outside.' I smiled widely and headed towards them. Kai was the first one to notice me and gave me a small smile. The rest of them tensed up even more.

"Hello, long time no see." I smiled at them and gave them a hug each. They were obviously surprised by this but didn't object. I finished by giving Bryan a hard hug.

"Hi Falcon. I've longed to see you." I whispered in his ear and his embrace hardened.

"I've longed for you too, Kitten." He whispered back, his hot breath on my skin sent a shiver down my spine.

We pulled apart and they had all started to smile. They looked so different when they smiled!

"Let's go before it starts snowing again." Kai said. I pulled on my jacket and scarf and we left.

Spencer was an excellent driver, but the traffic was crazy and I was rather scared a couple of times.  
I guess Bryan noticed me jumping again.

"Don't worry, it's always like this. The only difference is the weather." He said and took my hand. I turned to him but he was looking at the floor. I sifted my hand and entwined my fingers with his. His head snapped in my direction and our eyes met. He looked so nervous, so uncertain… So different from the hating teen that had almost killed me eight months ago.

This was all I needed to be really sure that this wasn't the same person I met then.

"Thank you Bryan." He gave me a small, shy smile.

The next couple of days we spent preparing for Christmas and blading. It turned out that they had hardly bladed since they got out of the Abbey. Not that that helped me. But it was fun and it helped me to get to know them as they were far more relaxed with a launcher in their hand. But, of course, it was mainly Christmas on their minds.

I found it fascinating that I, who am not even a Christian, was sitting there, explaining the miracle of Christ's birth to them. They were so exited about everything! If any one else would have seen the Demos, they would have fainted. These people were not the cold, hard, evil teens that every one thought they were. They were more like small children. Not that I said that to their faces.

Nothing but holding hands had happened so far with me and Bryan, and I slept on the couch. Much to Kai's amusement, of course.

Bryan was intoxicating. My world swirled when he looked at me and I admitted to myself that I loved him with all of my heart. But he was delicate in a way, like a china doll. I wouldn't rush things; this was more new to him than to me.

I had managed to secretly buy things for a birthday party, and on the 24th I managed to get them to go ice skating without me. Bryan wasn't too happy about leaving me behind, but Kai dragged him out, said that I could do with some time alone. He probably understood that I was up to something.

We were going to decorate the apartment that night, and at the moment the tree was out on the balcony. I filled the living room with balloons, and I was putting the finishing touches to the cake when I heard the door open. I wanted it to be perfect. I was nervous.

"We're back!" Kai's voice called.

"Good, I'll be right there."

I heard them talking in Russian as they headed to the living room and then they fell silent. That was my cue. I tried to remember to breathe as I headed to the living room.

They were shell-shocked.

"Happy birthday Bryan!" I said and he just stared at me.

"It's… my…?"

"Yes it is Bry. I found the papers." Kai smiled at him.

I placed the cake onto the table and walked over to the Falcon. Tears were trickling down his cheeks, not good.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." I said quietly.

"No Ray, I'm not sad. It's just that... you… care."

Finally I understood. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he buried his face in my shoulder, still crying silently.

"Of course I care Falcon. How could I not care about some one as beautiful as you?" I whispered as my fingers played with his hair. He pulled back a bit and looked at me doubtingly.

"You heard me." I whispered and he gave me a small smile.

"I think you're supposed to blow out the candles Bry." Tala said smiling.

I took Bryan's hand and led him over to the table. After a while they started to relax somewhat.

"You know Ray, I like this." Ian said.

"Me too." The others said in union. I couldn't help laughing.

"You really are one being, aren't you?" I asked, making them laugh.

"Guess we are." Tala said.

Tala was still paler and skinnier than usual, but he was still the leader and they all listened to him. I couldn't help thinking about how different they are from the Blade Breakers, even from the Tigers, as we cleaned up and started to put up Christmas decorations. They had a silent communication system that I just didn't get. They just seemed to know what the others wanted, and when Tala said something they all just obeyed him, no arguing. They trust him completely to lead them right.

I found myself sitting on the couch, watching as they decorated the tree. Right now even Max on a sugar high would seem down to earth next to them, but in some chaotic way they were still organised.

"What's up Ray?" Kai asked and sat down beside me.

"I'm just thinking about how different you are from us. I don't understand why you came back to us when you have this."

"The Blade Breakers need me at the moment, but I won't lie to you, I wish we could be more like them. Less arguing and more trust in each others."

"You know you belong with them, Kai. I'm grateful that we are allowed to borrow you, because we DO need you. But you will always belong with them."

We just sat there and watched them. They were arguing about something in Russian and I understood that it had something to do with Santa Claus. Kai tensed up and I saw tears forming in his eyes as he got up and went to his and Tala's room. I tried to understand what was going on when they all turned to me with nervous faces.

"Ray." Bryan started. "We know that we buy each other Christmas gifts but… Don't laugh now, we have to ask. Is there a Santa Claus or not?"

My heart stopped and I understood why Kai left. They really didn't know! Laugh? I felt more like crying.

"No. No, there is no Santa Claus."

I got up from the couch and went out to the balcony. The cold was numbing but I really didn't care. Bryan's cigarettes were on the small table. I reached out and picked them up.

"You can have one if you want."

Bryan had joined me. I picked out one and he lighted it for me before lighting his own. The smoke was burning my thoughts, but it was a relief.

"Was it wrong to ask?" Bryan's voice is almost inaudible.

I looked at him, and once again I was amazed by his beauty.

"No, Falcon, it wasn't wrong. But it's sad. You know everything there is to know about pain and cruelty, but nothing about the good things in life. I feel lost, like there is nothing I can do to help you."

"By being here you're helping. By answering our questions you're helping. We have no one else to ask. I have no one else to lean on."

We stood there in the dusk, looking at the setting sun, smoking in silence. I put my cigarette out and reached for the small box in my pocket.

"I have something for you. It's a birthday present."

His eyes widened as he looked at me. He put his cigarette out. I noticed his hands were shaking when he accepted the small box. He carefully removed the paper, as if he was afraid that the box would break if he wasn't careful. He opened the box and his eyes widened even more.

"Is this really for me?"

"You are the Falcon, so yes, it is."

He picked up the necklace, a long silver chain with an appendix. It's a falcon with its wings spread and a heart in its claws. I took it from his trembling hands and put it around his neck. We were so close.

"The heart is mine." I whispered. "I'm giving it to you, if you want it. I love you Bryan."

I closed the last inches between us and placed a small kiss on his lips. I felt his arms closing around my waist, pulling me closer. My arms wound up around his neck, my fingers played with his soft lavender hair. I nibbled at his lower lip carefully and gained instant entrance. Our tongues engaged in a soft battle, none of us cared about winning, just taking part. We pulled apart, cursing the need for air.

"I love you too Kitten." He gave me a small kiss.

"Let's go inside." I said and took his hand. We walked inside and headed to his room. None of the four in the living room said a word. Another reason I like them better than my own team; they know when to respect your privacy.


End file.
